Trina was lying on the table on day 3 of her 4-day new patient work up. Her initial visit, a few days earlier, was quite remarkable and filled with expansive breaths and dartings in and out of states of consciousness. But the day 2 visit was mired with distractions and unanswered questions as she finished her session and left for the day, disappointed. No matter what showed up or what didn’t, I assured her that it was exactly what she needed at the time and not to judge nor compare any particular visit to another.
Trina’s health issues, for a young woman in her 20’s, is a real concern and a total mystery to her. She has digestive issues, sleep problems, generalized achyness, just to name a few. In speaking with her about her ill-health, we traced it back to the age of 8. I asked point blank, “what was going on for you at that time?”
She told me about her parent’s divorce, her dad remarrying a much younger woman and having 2 children with his new wife. Trina went on to say that her mom’s drinking binges landed her in and out of rehab leaving both Trina and her sister, at times, fending for themselves. Your heart goes out to both given all that they experienced.
Trina went on to state emphatically that she had made amends with her dad and adores her younger half brother and sister. Her older sister isn’t so lucky. She still harbors resentment and, to this day, hasn’t spoken to her dad in years. The family is fractured and disconnected. But Trina assures me that she has moved on and is engaged in her career and a new boyfriend with reckless abandon.
Fast forward to yesterday. Her session started like any other but you could feel her vulnerability and the inevitability of things to come. Slowly, her neck and head began to rock side to side in a sweeping motion as if her body were unwinding a tightly wound spring. The rest of her lay quietly, it seemed, in eager anticipation. As I continued to facilitate the session, breath began to run down her spine like water careening though a mountainside. Her entire spine engaged in a to and fro exchange of energy, breath and movement. Trina was now inside of her experience fully and completely. Awkwardly and without warning, her tears and cries surfaced from a place of deep sadness that she never knew existed nor had ever experienced before.
The combination of connection and release was a common occurrence for me. It’s what can be expected, if you will, in the season of discovery. But for Trina, it was an aha moment, that moment of discovery when she stated firmly to herself and to me that she was not as complete with her past as she thought!
On day 4 we will go over her course of care and plot a future filled with health and success. Our healing journey will take us to many places as we address both the sickness and the stories behind the pain. For now, Trina is in a melancholy space feeling the incompleteness of her life and knowing full well that she’s out to mend a broken heart!
Lawrence G. Stern, D.C.